Do Not Hide

I know you are upset. I also know that you are trying to be strong. You do not have to have your armor on or have that wall up with me. I am here for you, and I will always be here for you. I do not see why you cannot see that. I want to be that person you go to when you are upset and you want to vent. You do not have to hide your hurt, anger, or anything from me. I would like to know what is going on in your mind and heart. Tell me. I mean I am here to be your shoulder to cry on. And when it is time when I need that shoulder, I would like you to be there for me. I do not want you to feel that you cannot have feelings in front of me. I want you to be open and honest with me. That is what a relationship is all about: honesty. Open your heart to me. Let me in, and I will let you in mine. We have to be able to trust each other with our emotions. Without trust, what is there ? Honesty and trust go hand-in-hand. So take my hand.

The First (3) Kiss

And then with one kiss, the spell was broken... That is how it goes right ? Well, I got 3 kisses. I could not believe it, when you kissed me. Was it all planned ? Doubt it. When you ran off that bus to come to me, I was shocked. My heart was beating so hard from when I left school until you were standing next to me. You did not have to, but you did. I felt like a stalker, but there you were. I probably would have had the worst weekend if you had not came. And I love that you did. I could not keep that gift in my bag any longer. It killed me everyday I did not give it to you. To see your face when I gave it to you, made me feel so ... Happy and excited. I loved that you loved it. Probably the first reason that made you kiss me, but that is how itis supposed to go. You want to kiss the person that makes you happy. And I am glad I was the girl that made you happy at that instant. I was not expecting it that is what made it better. The fact that you warned me one second before it happened made it better. I love that you respect me to tell me (you always asked before you would kiss even my cheek, and I loved that so much). But, anyway, you did not stop with one kiss. You gave me another. And then the last kiss for that night ... It was more that a peck on the lips. And that was the kiss that not just made my heart jump, but it sent sparks throughout my body. I felt the kiss. That is what I loved the most about it. I felt it and it came from a person that I love.

The End ?

Even though its going to hurt to be just friends with you, it hurts even more the way things are now. I just do not know what to do. You are one way when you are with me and a different way when others are around. You go out your way to talk to others. But when it comes to me, its like no efforts are being made. I care about you, I love you ... I just cannot take it anymore. I do not know what to do. I want to use every chance we have to try to talk. But I feel like you do not want to do that. You would rather be with anyone else. It hurts me so bad, it kills me. But it is like I cannot do anything about it, it feels as if I am powerless. There is nothing I can do. I do not want to give you all the power ... But what do you want ? Do you want this ? Do you want us ? I hate that I have to ask you. It scares me to even know the answer. But I have to know. I need to know. It is crazy because when I am with you (or when I was with you) I always felt like everything seems right. It was meant to be like this. We are right for each other. You make me smile all of the time. You never fail to put a smile on my face. That is, until ... I do not even know. I do not know what is happening. But, what I do know is I do not like it.

Is it Love ?

You're so young to even know what love is. But that does not stop you from letting those deep, meaningful words slip from your mouth. In your heart, you feel that its love. In your mind, u know that its love. But does that mean its really love ? Could you be playing tricks on yourself ? This way you can make yourself believe that you love him. So that you can have someone to love. So that you can have your own love story. So that you can finally feel that you can be happy. Loving someone is way different from being in love with someone. You know that. You have said it before, even to that special someone you believe you are in love with. It is crazy to believe that an eighteen year old can feel so much love toward a guy. A guy that did not exist to you 2 years ago. A guy that you would have never looked at. A guy who you never would have wanted to look at. But there he is, standing in front of you. He has become one of those people who you love to talk to, to be around, to touch. Sometimes it feels like the feeling came from no where. It simply appeared one day just like him. Suddenly, you want to be with him all the time and your mind constantly wanders to the thought of him. It has become impossible not to think about him every second. Why ? You have to ask yourself 'why'. Why him ? But there is never an answer, is there ? They say when u cannot answer that question, that is when you have found the one. The one ? Who finds the one at eighteen ? You ? What makes you so special ? Nothing. But then again, there he is. He is saying that he loves you, he is saying that he needs you, and that your so special. Do you believe him ? Of course not. But then again ... He makes it hard for u to doubt him. It seems like he can never lie to you, when he is speaking in front of you, it feels like its only you and him. There is no reason for deceit. He is there. There, because he wants to be. And it makes u feel so good. So wanted. So loved. Finally, your just staring at each other. And you realize that there is no one you would rather be with at that moment... or any moment for that matter. And you know that once he leaves, because of course he has to, you are going to miss him ever so much. And when you miss him, you miss him hard just like you love hard. There is no feeling greater than when a girl loves and misses a guy at the same time. Nothing can compare to that powerful feeling. And nothing can make that feeling go away.